Jay

a free verse poem
by Destini

My protector, my best friend, my brother.

My father, my boyfriend, my husband.

My everything.

His chest pressed against mine.

His arms, gentle but firm around my waist.

His heartbeat echoing against my ears,

As my head falls into rhythm with his chest.

I feel his breath tickle my cheek.

I get lost in his eyes.

There’s a story there.

One he refuses to tell, but I know it well.

It is a reflection of my own.

He won’t let me in.

I pound on the doors of his chest,

That guard his heart,

But all I get is the cold shoulder.

He never told me, but he showed it.

The way he held me in his arms,

Or fought anyone who tried to harm me.

The way he held my chin up with his fingers,

Looked me dead in my eyes,

Until both of ours slowly slid shut.

We became one.

I let him in.

Something I swore I’d never do.

He saw everything.

He felt all my pain,

And with one kiss,

It ceased to exist.

But what happens

When your one happiness in love

Only brings you pain?

What happens when you fall in love

With the devil himself?

He’s already seen my soul.

I almost handed it right to him.

I danced with the devil

And I got burned.

I fell for the face of an angel

And landed in the pits of hell.

You are my biggest mistake.

You are the best liar.

You are my most powerful enemy.

You are my nothing.

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